I woke up from some sought of nightmare where my entire past played in my mind like a bad movie. It shook me not because of the sins and mistakes but because of the things I missed while looking for other things. And no, this is not to advocate for #yolo but it is to make you realize that there are things you are missing out on because you are not living in this moment. Now the road trips, pictures, relationships and the food you haven’t taken because you were too busy looking for the future might be clear in your mind and so many people have told you about them and it has been said over and over, so I am not focusing on that.
There are too many moments we miss because we are consumed by the past or worrying about the future; riddled with guilt or fretting with worry, crying in pain or planning.
I’m going to list down 9 moments I have missed out on:
- The times I was too busy trying to be like ‘her’ that I never took the time to learn me, to create me, to ask God who I was meant to be and strive to be that.
- The times when I listened to statistics and facts about my dreams instead of taking a step of faith and doing them and now here I am trying to get all that doubt from my head.
- The times I stayed awake for days and wasted my life away trying to get ‘good’ grades, you know the A ,when I could have used those moments to find what I loved and pursued it, to build my passion into a career and to learn more about the subjects under it.
- The moments I spent trying to get him to love me and care and be loyal when I could have realized that the God of the universe loves me enough to die for me so then I should love myself enough to walk away.
- The times that I was so busy complaining and whining about my struggles and pain yet I could have asked for grace and strength to endure the race set before me because God does not give you more than you can bare but also, I could have been thankful for life, for family for literally anything.
- The times I was busy running from my mistakes and drowning in guilt when I could have taken the forgiveness so freely offered by God and let my sins go and moved on. What’s more, I could have taken a beat to learn from them and keep myself from wasting time repeating them again.
- The moments I was so busy working hard, planning, worrying and stressing over my future that I didn’t even realize that the future is not mine to worry about nor do I know what it holds and thus I cannot plan for it. Instead I watched videos, read books and even passed up opportunities that would have made me happy just so I could have anxiety and depression now but maybe sorta be happy when I was older.
- The times I was so busy fantasizing and dreaming instead of waking up, creating and living the life I dreamed off.
- The times I was so stuck on growing up, making it, leaving school or home or country, on being 17, 21, 30, 40 that I missed it. I missed the joy of being 8, 13,19. I missed the moment.
All these moments I missed because in my mind, I wasn’t ready for them, I couldn’t handle them or I was certain something better could come along later. I was busy searching for more, trying to do less, worrying about tomorrow and complaining about today.
My life was a captive of time, it was always too soon, too much, too little or too late. I couldn’t catch a break because each time I did, I was too busy trying to catch another one that I didn’t realize I had one already. I was so stuck on the fact that I was not ready, could not do it, cannot bear it that I failed to see the grace God had given me to bear that weight and to live in that moment and to triumph over it and that way I missed a great story to tell my kids one day.
So today is more about taking that season you are in and just living in it, learning from it, growing through it.
You see, moments aren’t just about the grand dramatic and beautiful ones in the movies that have a soundtrack and are called ‘small’, they are about all the things we wish would change, would go faster, would stay more. Moments are life and the ones we miss are the ones we wish to change. Is it bad to want a better life? no Is it bad to lose your heart and admit you are weak? no. Is it bad to look into the future with hope and excitement?no. The problem comes when we do that to the expense of the now.
It is a miss when we don’t stop crying at some point and realize God holding out his hand, when we don’t stop working so hard to realize that we have all we actually need for now otherwise we would be dead, when we don’t stop dreaming long enough to realize there are people around us and tools God has given us now to better ourselves and the world so that the future is bright. The problem is when you are so stuck on the complaining, the struggles, the hoping or the mountain that you forget the living.
This is a season; in the world and in your life. Whether it is bad or good, whether it is something you feel you could do without or it is something you want to last forever, whether it is so hard you can barely breathe or it seems inconsequential, it is a season that matters and it is a moment that counts in the end. You will have to account for it, you will look back at it. Please make sure there is no regret from now on. Get off the phone, your back, the floor, your seat and get on your knees. Thank God for the moment, ask for grace and faith to keep at it and make use of it, even if it is easy, then get up and live it.
So today is more about taking that season you are in and just living in it, learning from it, growing through it.It all matters, it all counts; the good and great, the bad and the ugly.
P. S. This post was inspired by the song ‘The moments I’m missing’ by Nina Nesbitt go check it out.
Also, will be doing a sought of book review every two weeks for the book I’m currently reading because I am an avid reader and I thought I should share with you guys what I read and get some feedback and recommendations.
Do you want me to have a YouTube Chanel to share my poetry and spoken word on? Let me know in the comments. The channel would have nothing but poems and inspirational words.
Please share and leave a comment. I hope this blessed you. Keep spreading light, love and peace.