Relationships, the back bone of the human race. Everything in life is built on relationships; families, businesses, economies, countries, alliances, schools, malls and the rest. Some last,others don’t. Some make sense, some don’t. Some are thrust upon you and some you choose. So what makes one successful? I asked around (because I really wouldn’t know) and decided to share the knowledge.
Communication is key. Literally. It will open up the person and let you know them deeply and they’ll know you likewise. Communication is what strengthens the bond, prevents a lot of misunderstandings and also gives you information to make informed decisions. Shared secrets,dreams,failures,burdens,joys and aspirations make for a better relationship because you feel connected to your partner. Remember communication is talking,sharing and giving each other a safe space to be open. It does not involve yelling,threatening,manipulation,silent treatment,lying,nagging or conniving.
Don’t you feel closer to people who you laugh with? Whether it’s sharing me mes over social media or actual puns and jokes in real life. Laughter is the best medicine, especially when there’s a short circuit in the communication chain. But laughter can also break tension and relax someone which means you’ll get more real. Laughter breaks down those walls and scatters all that toxic energy. And people always go for the funny ones because laughing through life is the best.
The result of communication and laughter is friendship which is the most important pillar of a relationship. The best relationship is a friendship first and foremost. Be friends,real friends and great ones at that and you will have a fantastic relationship. Other than vibing with each other(compatibility) communication and laughter are the key elements of any friendship and that is why I mentioned them first.
Be real, that’s what honesty means. In speech, in thought and in deed. Tell the truth; about how you feel, where you’re coming from,who you are,what makes you angry and about everything. Game playing is for children, grown up relationships involve realness; total and complete honesty.
If you are true friends who communicate openly and laugh generously then trust is a no-brainer. Trust is a building block for any good relationship. Without it, relationships crumble. Trust is what lets you give each other the freedom to bloom and grow as individuals even as you grow as a unit. Trust prevents nagging, insecurity, jealousy, stress and smothering. It takes years to build and seconds to destroy so if you have it be careful, it’s fragile. It is built on consistency; when words meet actions continually.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs, really. So whether it is your mum or you sister or your partner, do not keep a record of wrongs. Forgive. Talk it out and let it go. The best way to do this is avoid vague statements, silent treatments and do not go to sleep if you have not resolved an issue or are angry/unhappy. This ties in with communication so make sure to use your words and choose them wisely, be clear and concise and be open minded and ready to forgive. And if they do not want to talk(which is sad) then pray and let it go. The anger and bringing up things in the past only keeps your relationship in limbo before it kills it and you both. It can be hard to forgive especially when it comes to the millionth time the person has done this or said that but keep at it. God forgives us much more each day so we need to pass that forgiveness on to other humans and if you are struggling with it then that is where my next point comes in.
Sacrifice is just a fancy word to mean put the other person first without expecting reciprocation or compensation in return. It’s from the small things like missing your favorite show to watch theirs to the big things like careers. A relationship with the first qualities is a relationship worth having thus worth sacrificing for. It means taking time even during ‘bad times’ or ‘busy seasons’ to talk,bond and be with that person. It means loving them when they are difficult and even when they don’t deserve it. Sacrifice makes you a better person and a stronger christian but also strengthens your relationship.
This word means sticking it out through and through;Come rain, sunshine,fire or high waters. This is what people recite at weddings. It’s for the absolute best and absolute worst. It’s deciding that this is your person no matter what is happening, what they do or don’t do or where you are. If you are not committed then you cannot grow and bloom and you cannot call it a relationship maybe an acquaintanceship. I cannot stress this enough. All these other things would be useless if not for commitment.
To make mistakes and not be judged or held to it for weeks, months and years to come. This is more than forgiveness; Forgiveness comes in when someone has deeply wounded and hurt you emotionally but this is more about a wounded ego. This comes into play when the other person doesn’t do things the way you want or immediately text you back or laughs when you trip in public or forgets to bring groceries(again). Grace comes into play when the natural ‘small’ things that can make one explode over time.The stealing of food from the plate, the hogging of covers/the remote, the yelling across rooms, the argumentativeness, the childish behaviors and all those little ticks that can be endearing at first but quickly become stressful and irritating. Learn to extend grace, we are only human and can only do so much. Learn to handle the worst in them with gentleness and patience by focusing on the best and avoiding negative criticisms but encouraging positive behavior. Remember your partner(or friend or sibling) is as human as you are and there are things about you they cannot stand.
He is the author and perfecter of our faith. He made that one person for you so why not lean on him? If the above are pillars of a relationship then God is the foundation of one. He will hold you and keep you and bring that good work to completion. He gets you and only he can convince someone to change. He will strengthen you and uphold you. God is the rock that cannot be moved or shaken, His love never ends or fails so if you base your love on His, then you will succeed. God is love so He knows how to keep love and without Him then you cannot love another human being in the way they ought to be loved.
I hope these ten keys really blessed you and I hope you apply them to your current relationships and use them to build future ones. Are there any more you think are absolutely important? Then comment below. Like and subscribe too (because it’s nice) and share so that it helps someone else. Much love.