26 important things I wish I knew in my teens(and still remind myself every so often)
February 5, 2018
So today I am going to share a list of things I wish I knew when I was a teen; things I have learned since turning 20 and things I have only recently come to believe. I had to write them because I still occasionally need a reminder on one or five of them and I really hope it helps someone today. This doesn’t have to be lessons I wished for my teen self only, it can be lessons you learn for yourself today, whatever age you are, it can be something you print out and stick to your wall to remind yourself, it can be a list you share with your teenage daughter or cousin or the girl in your bible study or for your young adult friend. This is just a list of things I wish I knew and believed before I turned 20 because they would have made teenage so much easier.
Your grades don’t define your intelligence:
neither does your understanding of sciences. There are different types of intelligence and there is no one test that can measure yours. You are still smart if all you like is drawing dresses, you have a high IQ even if you got an F and you are clever even if you don’t want a career in the sciences
Your beauty is not defined by how many boys like you:
It never will be and you should not therefore assumes you aren’t beautiful just because there are no boys clamoring for your attention.
You are never ever too smart, to opinionated or too strong especially for a man:
God gave you your personality so do not dim it down to make a man comfortable. There is a girl for that man who can’t handle your version of strength just as there is a man for you who compliments your strength.
Jean size, bra size, weight and the smoothness of your skin are never measures of your beauty or worth.
Do not compare yourself to celebrities or models:
They are always photo-shopped, airbrushed and made-up by a team of specialists. They also do not look like that all day, everyday and many of them still struggle with their image and self-worth. Also, their success is not the bar to measure your own to. Follow your own path and chart your own course.
Never lose your values to fit in to any squad:
Be sure of what you believe in and stand for and do not compromise it to be part of any group of people. They are not worth your soul. So it doesn’t matter what squad it is, don’t do anything immoral or you are not comfortable with just to be appreciated by them or to feel like a part of them. No friend group should be that exclusive and if it is and you aren’t the type then move along.
Embrace who you are wholeheartedly because there is no one like you. Be true to who God created you to be and keep making that girl better not trying to make her someone else.
Don’t try to be cool:
Popularity is fleeting and everyone has their 15 minutes. What is trending is never the same as twitter as shown us so for those who always seems to be ‘in’ then they are constantly changing who they are to fit. Don’t try to be one of them, there is a true friend for you so be true to who you are and someone will connect to that.
The world doesn’t revolve around you:
It won’t come to a stand still because you got a zit or got dumped or even died. But God does love you more than he does everything else so cling to him.
Study and meditate on God’s word regularly:
God’s word never changes but remains relevant and always guides you in the path you need to take. It will strengthen you, uphold you, advice you and keep you on the right track.
You have as much time and energy as you’ll ever have:
You get busier as you get older so stop procrastinating and just go for it. Try out for track, play tennis, join the band, read 500 novels, join 7 bible studies, meet your friends, start the business, wear the shoe, buy the dress,go dancing. There is never a better time to do some things because you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to find the time and strength to do them but end up wishing you had.
No one cares as much as you think they do:
All the other teens are more absorbed in their own lives and dramas than yours, the teachers are more concerned with their families than you and the public is worried about their own decisions. Do what you have to do. No one will ever judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. You are your worst critic and best cheerleader.
Even when you think he is silent, even when you’re crying yourself to sleep, even when you feel alone. He hears and his promises are not “Yes, no and wait” but “Yes and Amen” through Jesus so know that he has heard you and he is not denying you but making all things beautiful and work out for your good.
You are healthy, you are young and most importantly you are growing. You need the nutrients, you need the healthy fats, you need the food to become stringer, better and for your brain to function.
You need the activity, the silliness, the fun and the laughter. Stop trying to be serious and just embrace the child in you and play.
You don’t have to have your life figured out in your 20’s:
So don’t take your decisions too seriously. Teenage is confusing, hormonal and stressing enough without having to add the weight of knowing you are deciding things for life. You can change your career in your 50’s, you can get married in your 40’s, you can live a simple, rich-free, life, you can change your major when revelation from God points you another way, you can still own a business if you have blue hair.
Be ready to learn, be corrected and change:
To go with the above point God restores if you are willing to admit your wrong so if you find yourself on the wrong path just humbly accept it, pray for forgiveness and ask God for guidance and restoration.
You are never too old for counsel:
even though you think you know a lot, you don’t. You will continue to learn from others older, younger and the same age as you until the day you die. Counsel=learning=growth. If you stop growing then you die.
Tattoos, piercings and nakedness do not make you hotter or better:
Don’t crave ink or piercings just for the sake and don’t walk around showing your body because you think it makes you braver. There is braveness in decency, your body is your own so cherish it and it is a temple so don’t let everyone have access to it. Tattoos are permanent so be sure there is a real meaning and a real need to have them. Don’t just do it to prove a point and trust me, you won’t die if you never have one. Same as piercings.
Yes she did that, yes he hurt her ,yes it was funny when they fell or whatever but never talk about someone behind their back. It is rude, it breeds a habit and you never know what they are going through. Even as a joke, just don’t. Also, whoever you’re gossiping with will always gossip about you and it will always come out that you’re a gossiper and that will make you untrustable.
Don’t lose your femininity:
In a world where women are becoming masculine because they believe that makes them stronger, embrace your femininity. It is a God-given gift and it comes with strength. It is a liability nor does it make you weaker.
The meek inherit the earth and love does conquer all because God is love therefore God wins. Don’t ever feel as if you need to get meaner to be stronger. Don’t let bitterness and anger harden you but learn to let go. Don’t take being kind to mean being weak and don’t lose your goodness and mercy because someone says you should only give to those who give to you. Extend grace, even when the other person doesn’t deserve it and smile, it keeps you young.
Hold on to your innocence:
There is nothing you are missing. There will come a time when you will need to know that and the information will still be there. You don’t need to watch that show just because it’s popular if it doesn’t honor God and you most definitely don’t need to have sex, do drugs or drink. Stay pure, stay innocent, stay ‘prudish’ because the world is crazy but that doesn’t mean you have to be.
Yes, they’re old-fashioned, yes they aggravate you and yes they most definitely don’t understand how hard it is to grow up with internet and social media but they do still have important knowledge and advice to pass on to you.Take it, listen, learn and add it to your arsenal and use it to better yourself.
Life is not a race:
time and chance happen to everybody so stop rushing into things and stop rushing things. You won’t be necessarily better off for clearing school earlier than others, you don’t get a medal for having a boyfriend first nor does it better your life in any way, you won’t get to heaven because you always got straight As and being 21 or 30 isn’t the end of the world so you don’t have to do anything by then.
You are beautiful:
not because he said so or they envy you or you lost weight or your selfies slay or you have the best style or your contour is on point or your skin is flawless or your waist is tiny. You are beautiful because God says so, because you are precious to him and honored by him, because HE loves you. So do not let anyone tell you otherwise nor do you owe anyone anything for pointing that out.
So guys, like,share and comment if this blessed you. Comment below any lessons you learned from your teens and share the post with someone else. I’ll be posting a poem on Thursday so be sure to stay tuned and check it out. Much love.