I stared at myself in the full length mirror – more like glared – and all I could see were ‘faults’. There were so many things that needed to change before I was beautiful, in fact when I was younger I would often say to myself that ‘one day I’ll be older and so so beautiful’ because I figured I would grow out of all the ‘faults’. My hair was too kinky and my stomach was not flat enough and I needed skinnier thighs and a smaller butt. My skin was too oily and I had too many scars. My eyebrows were weird shaped and my eyes were brown, my lips too pouty and my waist was not small enough. The list went on and on; from my hair to my toe nails, I could find something on me that I didn’t like. Why? Because someone somewhere taught me to. A magazine cover that showed ’10 of the most beautiful women’ who all looked exactly alike and nothing like me, a movie about a girl who got the job,the guy and the dream only after she lost the weight, a friend asking me if I really be ‘eating that’ and an advertisement showing you ‘diversity’ when all it was were 15 girls who had the same skin tone and dress size range. Can anyone else relate? Whether you’ve wanted to bleach your skin or get a fake tan, lose weight or gain a butt, buy 500 products to get flawless skin, apply 12 filters to a photo before you post it or whatever it is you have had to do before you became ‘beautiful’ or ‘attractive’. In fact, you are probably reading this article because you googled something about beauty tips or secrets or dieting or skin care.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best but there is something very wrong when your version of ‘best’ involves removing half or all that is you or photo shopping your face on someone else’s body or completely changing what you look like. I have learned from many people through the years, the secrets to beauty; some lessons I have shelved, others I have ignored and some I still use today. So on today’s post, I will share these 7 key beauty tips that have helped me over the years to overcome my worst self-esteem days, to deal with my bad hair years and everything in between
1.Be careful what you internalize:
Most people’s problem with how they look started with what they heard or saw. Someone marketed what beauty looks like, a relative pointed out a flaw, a girl became famous a supposedly ‘perfect body’ and suddenly, you were not enough. Why is that? Because you did not filter out what needs to be soaked into your brain and internalized. You can’t force all companies to not touch up their pictures or to use certain kinds of models or not to say this person is the most beautiful in the world, but you can force yourself not to internalize that. In fact, you can decide not to hear or see it most of the time. Maybe you can’t take down the billboard or block all the Instagram ads but you can unfollow the person, you can not read those magazines or watch those movies/ads/series. The only filter you need is the filter in your head. Choose your mental health over being in the know, following the ‘right’ people or being in style. And most importantly, choose to hear what God says about you and not what others say.
Those who are worthy to behold you in all your glory, will take the time to peal off the layers and learn you
2. You absolutely need to have a spirit cleanse:
What is in your spirit? Is it jealousy, hate, envy, pride, lust, laziness,self-indulgence, savagery, meanness? Or is it kindness, love, self-control, patience, humility, gentleness, appreciation, joy? Garbage in, garbage out and you reap what you sow. You reflect on the outside what is in the inside. I have sometimes found I break out heavily when I have been keeping rage, bitterness and pride in me. You may be binge-eating because of something inside your spirit that is not sorted out; be it anger, envy, self-hate etc. Or you are only seeing your ‘flaws’ because you are so filled with negativity inside that you cannot see anything positive outside. Instead of looking for the next juice cleanse or facial cleanser why not start with your spirit? Check your heart, ask God to really show you what is in it and then honestly check if that is right, noble, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praise-worthy. Trust me, when your spirit is at peace, you will find yourself more beautiful.
3. Feed yourself right:
And no, I’m not talking about your body because there are 100 other blogs that can tell you exactly what you should be feeding your body. I’m talking about your soul. What are you feeding your soul? Because you are not just your body; you are your soul and spirit too. Your spirit reflects what you are feeding your soul and your body reflects that what is in your spirit and soul. What are you watching, listening to, reading, absorbing? What is on your timeline? Is it trashy shows? Reality TV? Books filled with nonsense? Nudity on your TL?Music that calls women derogatory names or praises money or talks about sex and cutting people off? You are what you feed yourself. Beauty is not just about your face and your body, it is about your heart and your mind. Feed yourself inspiration, the word of God, worship, love, strength, purpose, faith. Don’t just watch what goes into your mouth and you aren’t watching what goes into your head or your heart.
4. Draw your confidence from God:
Self-love is not your ability to love yourself. It is your acknowledgement that you can’t rightfully do so and therefore you draw the love from He who created you and loved you before you were even conceived in your mother’s womb. We can end up in destructive habits in the name of self-love; over-gyming, not eating right, over-indulging, laziness, over-spending to name a few. This is because by nature, humans are selfish and have no self-control. Your confidence should not be in the fact that you look good today, you dress well or you did great at work/school, it should be in the love that God has for you. His love is unconditional, irreplaceable, irrevocable and eternal. Even when you have no strength to do right, to love yourself or to ‘look good’ he loves you, be confident in that
5. Compliment yourself:
This is not about getting proud and cocky, this is about learning to appreciate yourself. Instead of saying ‘this shirt is cheap’ as an insult, congratulate yourself on finding comfortable and affordable clothing. Remind yourself that your skin is beautiful or your eyes are such a swirl of color or your voice is great. Look in the mirror and say what a great listener you are, or how amazing your ability to make hair look good is. Don’t wait for someone to mention it, compliment yourself. Do not despise yourself, do not look down on yourself and do not short change yourself. If you cannot find anything you love about yourself, then ask some family members or close friends to list some things about you that they adore. This list should focus n both your character traits and your looks. So when you are in front of a mirror, remind yourself one of these things, in fact, pin them on your mirror.
6. Remind yourself that you are human:
Not a doll, not a symbol, not a model, not a character but a human being. We are told in the bible that we are ‘just a little lower than the angels’ which means we are very high up there. We are not animals or creatures but the only thing that God made with his hands and breathed his eternal breath into. Being human is not an insult or a downgrade but a position of esteem. It also means that you have ‘flaws’ which are not really flaws but unique features that tell a story. The stretch marks, the scars, the round-wide nose, the short legs, the ‘sausage’ fingers, the rolls, the skinny arms; all of it is part of the story of who you are so embrace it.
7. Stay classy, save a little mystery:
In the effort to be considered beautiful, I have seen many people over sharing. Whether it is their experiences, their thoughts, their opinions, their bodies etc. I was once told that people are like books; One can choose to be fast-paced, thrilling and entertaining to everybody but sooner or later that book will be set down. It may be picked up again through the years, but it will always be completed in a matter of days and very rarely has a lasting impact because it was a book for the day. Or one can choose to be a slow build; seemingly boring but chapter by chapter, deeper and deeper into the pages you go, you get more enthralled, you fall in love and you empathize or relate with the story. These are the books that many do not read, few finish and those that do may take a long while, years even, to complete it. But the effect on their lives is lasting; it changes the way they think, act, feel, view people and the world and even who they interact with. I’ve learned that mystery is a good thing and beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but it is most definitely not in everyone’s eyes. Keep people out of your business; not just your moves, your thoughts and your secrets but your body and your life. I promise, the ones who are worthy to behold you in all your glory, will take the time to peal off the layers and learn you.
I hope these tips help you?. Like this post and most definitely share it with a friend, a family member or on your social media. Let us keep building up one another in Christ and sharing love. Comment below what lasting beauty tips you have received so that we can help someone out there. Subscribe to this blog to get notifications when I post and to also get weekly newsletters every Monday that will kick start your week into greatness.
Hey there! I am Makenah, a passionate believer, writer, avid reader, poetess, wannabe globetrotter and amateur programmer. I enjoy dancing, listening to music, reading, cooking, travelling and eating.
I started this blog as a way to share my journey through life; the pitfalls, the strengths, the beauty and passion, the pain, the beautiful places I go and people I meet and most importantly the triumph of grace in life. I do this so that through my sharing my journey, you can learn to embrace yours and trust the process of becoming who God created you to be and stop obsessing over 'making it' and 'being someone' or 'getting there' but realizing that life is a journey to be taken and enjoyed and the things and accomplishments are not a final destination but a pit stop on your way to forever. So sign up and join me, you won't regret it! And feel free to interact with me either via social media or in the comment section
Love and light to you,