Life & Lifestyle

What am I doing? 7 things to remind yourself when you feel like you’re behind in life

This is not what I planned.

Have you ever sat there thinking of how behind you are? Behind schedule, behind others, behind your age-mates, behind those actually making a mark? Do you ever scroll through Instagram, or Facebook or have WhatsApp conversations with people and you are struck by that thought of ‘where am I going?’ or ‘what am I doing?’ It’s hard isn’t it, this life we live and the generation we live it in. Last year I sat in my room actually weeping,asking myself why on earth I was not on track. I was tired of always feeling like I was behind in life, especially in the last few years. Business wasn’t picking up, I couldn’t make money from my passion, I hadn’t graduated, my social life was non-existent and nothing seemed to be working the way I’d planned or imagined it.

It’s funny how the minute you notice just how not in line your life is, suddenly your brain is bombarded by all these people whose lives are in ‘order’. Your friend calls to invite you to their graduation which is a year earlier than planned, someone posts the picture of their baby’s first sonogram while the hold hands with their perfect spouse, some girl flashes her engagement ring and thanks God for the amazing job offer, that guy updates his status saying he is on his way to visit his 21st country this year and even an Instagram account for kids celebrates how they just got signed for some deal or the other. It never ends; you are saturated with information that makes you sad about your own life even if you are genuinely happy for theirs or worse, you get jealous and bitter.

We often feel like our lives are off course and it is worse when we blame ourselves for the deviations from plan. You think that if you had chosen a different college you would have graduated by now or if you hadn’t broken up with so and so you’d be married or if you had just sucked it up and done the degree you hated then at least you’d have a well-paying job by now. We wonder if we’d be where we are ‘supposed’ to be if we hadn’t quit that job, left that place, stopped doing this or that or just done it like so and so. We often forget who is in control.

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Flowers grow on pavements so you can grow in hard times of uncertainty too

When I was sinking into a self-caused depression because of how ‘behind’ my life was, I had to remind myself a few things that helped me get off the floor and keep pressing on and I think you should use these too when you struggle with the race against others:

1. ALL things work out for the good of those who love God.

Not some things, not most things and not even good things but all of them. Therefore I concluded that even if I myself had deviated from God’s plan, the mere fact that I love Him will ensure that all things work out for my good.

2. God’s plan are for good and promise a great future.

He isn’t htinking of ways to punish me but of ways to bless me and enrich me.

3. I am NOT more powerful than God.

This means that if I keep surrendering myself to Him, then He will always lead me to where I need to go, not just want to go. There is no way I have more power than Him in controlling life and therefore I can rest easy knowing He is in control and even if I veer off path a little, He will reroute me to end up exactly where His will and purpose wants me to be.

4. Restoration is not just a fancy word.

If I really feel like I am way off course and can’t find my way back, God has the power to restore, renew and replenish.

5. My journey is not the same as anyone else’s:

Yes, the world has certain expectations and unwritten societal laws that say graduate with your first degree by this age and marry by this one and live by yourself by this one and have this amount of money in your bank account by a specific time. But this standards are not God’s standards and their time is not his. God’s plan is bigger than the one I have for myself and it is definitely better. Therefore, instead of focusing on trying to compete with someone else, I can make the most of each season and pit stop in my own journey and grow from it.

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God will always light your path, even when the light of others is bright.

6. Comparison will only kill me:

Comparison will never ensure I am better or at par with someone else, all it does is make me run a circus race. That person will keep doing what they do and will probably grow from height to height and I’ll be left chasing their tail and eating their dust. And if I ever make it to their level, then I’ll have missed my won calling and traded it for theirs.

7. Speed does not equal purpose:

Just cause I got there first does not mean I was meant to be there. There are a lot of people stuck in lives their hate or just merely going through the motions and we are here looking at them through fancy filters and perfectly curated feeds and feeling inferior. You could get a degree in three years, but is it in what you actually wanted to study or is it just a degree for the sake of one? You really could have married that guy or that girl but would it be a God-pleasing, fulfilling and revitalizing marriage or one that looked great in front of iPhone cameras? You could leave today and end up in another country but what purpose is there for your wandering? Is it adding actual value to your life or is just the Pinterest version of ‘Travelling is the only thing you spend money on that makes you richer’?

So next time you wonder why you’re behind and why you can’t be like them or why you can’t seem to ‘get it right’ or why you didn’t ‘do it earlier’ remind yourself these simple but effective statements. Print them out and have them in your journal or bible. Don’t fool yourself into doing something rash or not enjoying the season’s of your life. Take it day by day, doing the best with what you’ve got and see God work through you and in you. In the end, you will not be commended for being the youngest CEO or the richest woman or the fastest runner or the best dressed or having the cutest kids but you will be commended for greatness and faithfulness in fulfilling your purpose on this earth. SO take time to find that, and don’t settle for anything less.

If this post encouraged you, like it and share it with your people to encourage them too. Comment below times when you have felt like you were behind everyone else and what you did. If you haven’t already, subscribe to the blog to get more amazing content.

Love and light to you,

Shalom, Kenah.

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Hey there! I am Makenah, a passionate believer, writer, avid reader, poetess, wannabe globetrotter and amateur programmer. I enjoy dancing, listening to music, reading, cooking, travelling and eating. I started this blog as a way to share my journey through life; the pitfalls, the strengths, the beauty and passion, the pain, the beautiful places I go and people I meet and most importantly the triumph of grace in life. I do this so that through my sharing my journey, you can learn to embrace yours and trust the process of becoming who God created you to be and stop obsessing over 'making it' and 'being someone' or 'getting there' but realizing that life is a journey to be taken and enjoyed and the things and accomplishments are not a final destination but a pit stop on your way to forever. So sign up and join me, you won't regret it! And feel free to interact with me either via social media or in the comment section Love and light to you, Shalom, Kenah.

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