Towards the end of last year, I began to notice that I had acquired some very negative traits. I’m talking aggression, being domineering, argumentative and so on. These traits made it harder for me to connect with those who loved me, both male and female, and they made it hard for me to love myself. Realizing this made me realize that I had all but snuffed out every aspect of my femininity; the great feminine traits of openness, nurturing, beauty, kindheartedness, warmth and boldness. I then made a commitment that this year I would begin to nurture my femininity. I would put in the required work to bring back the parts that are naturally within me but had been smothered out by life’s hardship and hardcore feminism.
Now for some of you, your journey in femininity is not because you lost touch with it or acquired negative traits, it is just because you want to improve it. These six practices work for all women regardless of whether you are starting to reclaim your femininity or just refining it.
Taking some Self Care Time
Creating and sticking to a self care routine is an important aspect of getting in touch with your feminine side. Whether you are doing your hair, plucking your brows, soaking your feet or simply reading a really good novel, self care sessions are important for feminine women. The art of slowing down and doing something solely for the betterment of yourself really takes the edge off and this in turn creates a peaceful environment in which your feminine energy will come through. Releasing stress through self care and nurturing an otherwise delicate part of yourself – be it hair, nails, mind or skin – offers the perfect opportunity to really find that nurturing, warm, inviting, kind and gentle part of yourself. In my next blog post I’ll be covering some of the best self care practices that really work for me so subscribe to the blog for that.
2. Doing your Beauty Routine
Now women have always been known for their beauty. In fact a key aspect to femininity is beauty and youth. Now this doesn’t mean you look like a model or invest in plastic surgery to try be forever young but it does mean you take care and nurture what God gave you. Simply moisturizing your skin and styling your hair has such a drastic effect on how you approach a day. You’ll find that on your ‘lazy’ days where you pay no heed to basic hygiene and barely get out of bed, you end up feeling worse; more tired and sluggish and even aggressive. (Think of how a puppy woken from sleep growls). But when you put effort into your outward beauty through showering, getting dressed, doing your hair and even just a little bit of gloss, you are more likely to be warmer, happier and more approachable during the day.
3. Practicing spiritual mindfulness
A calm and quiet spirit is a beautiful spirit. It also is more likely to tap into the natural feminine traits you were born with. Spending time in the morning in bible reading, prayer and meditation is a surefire way to be spiritually mindful the rest of the day. Staying mindful ensures you practice calm even when storms hit you head on. Your spirit is focused on God and your mind is stayed on His word and in turn you emanate a beauty and warmth that cannot be faked and definitely does not fade. Don’t neglect your spiritual feedings because a starved spirit is a reckless spirit and a reckless spirit takes quirks to negative traits.
If you’ve ever been told that you look prettier when you smile then you know the power of a smile. The exact same face, no makeup or surgery or even moisturizer, looks ten times better because of a small move of the facial muscles. Smiling isn’t just to improve face value but to also improve your soul. It has been proven that smiling makes you happier and also more approachable by people. Try smiling slightly today, even when you don’t feel like it, to trigger a positive domino effect around you.
5. Building quiet confidence
I say a quiet confidence because I believe that is the epitome of femininity; discretion + boldness. It is very easy in our effort to be more confident to conflate loud, obnoxious self-bolstering with true confidence. There is beauty in the woman who knows her worth, knows her value, knows her beauty but doesn’t announce it to every room in the world; it speaks for itself. You don’t need to tell people how smart you are because if you are it will come out in average daily conversations. You don’t need to say how body confident you are and show skin to prove it, it will be obvious with how you walk and how your clothes fit you. The same applies for every aspect of confidence there is; your faith in God, your wisdom, your standards etc. It takes time to find the kind of confidence that speaks for itself and requires no introduction or defense but when you do, it is truly magnificent.
6. Learning to bit your Tongue
We’ve all heard that women on average speak more than men; up to three times as many words. Well, that isn’t exactly a good thing. I’m not saying you shrink yourself, smile and nod. i’m suggesting that not everything requires a comment, explanation or rebuttal from you. A feminine woman is one who not only has wisdom for what to say, but discernment too in knowing when to say it. You don’t need the last word, you don’t have to comment, that argument is unnecessary, time will prove that you’re right and no, they don’t have to hear that story. This is a lesson that I really need to learn and I am working on but being slow to speak is the gift to yourself; a gift that keeps on giving.
Making daily work of practicing each of these tips, or even only one, will be beneficial in your journey towards becoming a more feminine woman. I hope you find these tips helpful. What other daily practices do you think help nurture a feminine woman? Share them in the comments below and don’t forget to subscribe to the blog.
Love and light to you,